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Poisons of Shame


Sometimes I sit and wonder how my life got so screwed,
the drugs, the alcohol, the people been used.
At age fourteen, I was on the right track,
going to youth  group, never conceived of doing crack.
My head held high for the Lord.
I would declare that people can't afford,
to walk through life without Him,
and lack forgiveness of their sin.
But little did I know,
that the devil wanted me so,
to do the things that God despises,
the things that the devil so aspires.
I took my first hit,
off a pot pipe and that was it.
It was escape for the pain hurt so bad,
so confused, I didn't even know I had.
That was that, I'd found my place,
I felt at ease, so showed my face.
From pot, to acid, to coke, to speed,
did it end just there? No, crack indeed.
As I filled up my body with the poisons of shame,
the feelings were churning and everyone was to blame.
Except for me of course, no way not me,
didn't want people to know the person I'd be.
If I acted myself, 'cause those feelings were bad,
as the drug use got worse, oh, so sad.
My mother said no, and I said yes.

The rebelling increased, my life was a mess.
Spent the next several years in a downward spiral,
searching for something, yet needing revival.
But never at all did the Lord leave my side,
just waiting for me to love and abide,
by His guidelines and rules meant to do one thing,
to protect us from pain, that can so badly sting.
Sin can leave scars, as it has done to me,
just by believing Satan's lie of, "taste it, you'll see."
Today I look back on my screwed up life,
the choices and decisions that led to strife.
And by the GRACE OF GOD, I am alive to say,
that I'm proud of who I am today.


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