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Mother's Maintenance Manual


Many of us take better care of our cars then we do our mothers and yet we 
only expect our cars to last 5 or 6 years but we expect our mothers to last 
for a lifetime. Maybe we need a maintenance manual for mothers so we would 
know how to take care of them at least as well as we do our automobiles. 

Here are some items that might be included in such a manual. 

- Engine: A mother's engine is one of the most dependable kinds you can 
find. She can reach top speed from a prone position at a single cry from a 
sleeping child. But regular breaks are needed to keep up that peak 

Mothers need a hot bath and a nap every 100 miles, a baby-sitter and a 
night out every 1,000 miles, and a live in baby-sitter with a one week 
vacation every 10,000 miles. 

- Battery: Mother's batteries should be recharged regularly. Handmade items, 
notes, unexpected hugs and kisses, and frequent "I love you's" will do very 
well for a recharge. 

- Carburetor: When a mother's carburetor floods, it should be treated 
immediately with Kleenex and a soft shoulder. 

- Brakes: See that she uses her brakes to slow down often and come to a full 
stop occasionally. (A squeaking sound indicates a need for a rest.) 

- Fuel: Most mothers can run indefinitely on coffee, left overs and salads, 
but an occasional dinner for two at a nice restaurant will really add to her 

- Chassis: Mothers run best when their bodies are properly maintained. 
Regular exercise should be encouraged and provided for as necessary. A 
change in hairdo or makeup in spring and fall are also helpful. If you notice 
the chassis begins to sag, immediately start a program of walking, jogging, 
swimming, or bike riding. These are most effective when done with fathers. 

- Tune-ups: Mother needs regular tune-ups. Compliments are both the cheapest 
and most effective way to keep a mother purring contentedly. 

If these instructions are followed consistently, this fantastic creation and 
gift from God that we call MOTHER should last a lifetime and give good 
service and constant love to those who need her most. 


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