I was born and raised in a Christian home. When I was 7 years old I asked
Jesus to be my savior at Vacation Bible School. Unfortunately, I did not
follow him as Lord of my life. I lived for myself, for happiness and
success but was always afraid of dying. Over the years my spiritual
life grew very little.
In 1990 at age 42 I was diagnosed with cancer of the lymph system. I said:
"God, I’m not ready to die." The next year, I underwent a bone marrow
transplant which destroyed the cancer. I thanked God and went on living
Six years later my marriage and my career were both headed south. My mother
was dying and I was depressed. Chasing after happiness and success was not
working. Then God gave me just what I needed. In March of 1998 the cancer
returned and my doctor gave me 2 years to live
Suddenly it was very obvious to me that I could not control my life. The
only thing I could do was give Jesus control. I needed to live for Him and
eternity instead of living for me and what was left of this life. By His
grace, I was able to make that change.
He blessed my choice by drawing me close to Him. He gave my wife and I a love
for each other that we had not had since we were young. He gave me a new love
for my children. He taught me how to take better care of my body by eating
better foods. He gave me very good health even though cancer was growing
inside of me. He gave me a real appreciation for each new day of life. He took
away my fear of death and gave me real peace in my heart. He gave me a desire
to read His word, to talk to Him and to share my faith with others. Now I know
the real meaning of life. That is to Glorify Him in everything I do.
There are a couple of passages that I can really relate to: In John 12:25 Jesus
says: "The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his
life in this world will keep it for eternal life."… I lived for this life
and lost it, but when He helped me to give it up and live for Him, then He
gave me real life.
In 2 Cor. 4:16,18 Paul says: "Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly
we are wasting away, (outwardly my body is wasting away with cancer) yet
inwardly we are being renewed day by day (spiritually I’m being renewed every
day).....So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, (this life) but on what is
unseen (eternal life). For what is seen is temporary, but what is
unseen is eternal".
During the past three years God has been very close to me and has poured out
His blessings on me. I have felt His wonderful love. And although I constantly
ask God to take away the cancer, I must tell you that if I could trade my life
as it is today for my life as it was at any time before my cancer, I would never
go back. I’d never give up the blessings I have today in exchange for a
cancer-free life with me at the controls. I believe I have a wonderful future
whether I live a day, a year or 20 years. I’m looking forward to that future
for two reasons: 1) My future includes eternal life with God in heaven; and 2)
God is in control. He says that He’ll work out all things for the good of those
who love Him. I believe His words are true.