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I grew up under the label of a catholic. There was a desire in me at an
early age of about twelve for something I wasn't sure of, but looking
back now I can see it was a desire to know God. Without any input at
that age nothing more happened until I was 25 when through neighbors
inviting me to church, I met and received God by giving my life to Him.
For the next six months I had such a hunger for God that I soaked up all
I could. Then I met a man and developed a relationship that I thought
had everything going for it that I wanted. It was a relationship that
should never of happened and though it I turned away from God.
So for the next eight years I went through a lot of trials and turmoil's.
I cried out to God for help and can see now that my unanswered prayers
were selfish ones. I finally made the break from the relationship to
Caboolture where my family lived. We do foolish things when we aren't
right with God, but what I did next was the pits.
I got back into the relationship and depression and loneliness set in.
Then we got a new neighbor who encouraged me that there was a decent
life out there. Through her perseverance and the prayers of many in
the neighborhood there was hope.
I was living in a Christian community and didn't even know it.
I later found out that some of the ladies would wait in their gardens
for when I'd be walking back from school so they could befriend me. You
know what it's like when you're running, you don't want anything to
do with anyone.
After ten months of being back in the relationship I realized it was
really destroying me, so with the support of others I left. God had
brought me to the crossroad of decisions. I had the choice of either
life or death. I choose to answer because God was calling. The day
before I gave my life back to Christ I wrote a poem.
CALLING ME
I hear you calling me,
Calling my name.
I hear you calling me,
Back from this shame.
Call me to where I belong,
I need you near me,
It's been far too long.
Open my eyes wide so I can see.
Place your hand in mine Lord,
I don't want to fight alone.
Come Lord, be my sword,
Come fill my heart with song.
I will sing out praise to you,
For this you deserve.
Show me who I am Lord,
Show me who I am.
Come and do your wonderful deeds.
Come and show me the way.
Come and work within me.
Come to me today.
J.M. Bailey 5/24/97
I've been here at Obed for two years in May '99 and God has answered
my deepest heart cry. He has shown me who I am in Him. He has done His
wonderful deeds in my life and He has shown me the way.
God has knocked down massive walls that I had built around myself, walls
of self-protection, self-preservation and self-destruction. Now I have
God's protection around me and the love and support of the brethren.
I am learning to be open to receive from others and have them input into
my life. I am willing to share my problems and receive correction,
direction, guidance and encouragement from others.
I am becoming more settled and my family too are becoming settled, for
example- I found it hard to be at home alone with my kids. I had no
peace at all, but I daily seek to surrender to my God to do His
life-changing, life-giving work within me, instead of dealing
with things myself.
So here I stand before you, saved and cleansed. My life has been turned
around and my feet are on solid ground as God changes me.
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