Sometimes I wonder why I'm here on this earth.
I question my existence, my being, my birth.
"Life is short", I have heard people say,
"To hell with tomorrow - just live for today."
With my first family I made many mistakes;
I turned from my church - to me, full of fakes.
My first three children would never know
The SPIRITUAL WEALTH that only HE can bestow.
I tried, for them to set an example by living
A life of providing, nurturing, and care giving.
I sang songs and read books to them every night,
But something was missing - it just wasn't quite right.
My parents had shown me that this was the way,
But I left out teaching my children to worship and pray.
I forgot to mention Jesus - God's only Son,
And how HE died to save us, every single one.
This first marriage "on the rebound" was doomed from the start;
And after eleven short years, divorce tore it apart.
This changed my lifestyle to one of sin -
Two long years of alcohol, drugs, and men.
Then I met someone, doomed such as I;
A "good-hearted soul," also living a lie.
We were down in the gutter, wallowing in slime;
Both knowing it was only a matter of time
Before the devil's dirty deed would soon be done
And two more souls from God for him would be won.
We pulled ourselves out of that hell we were in
And tried to start living a clean life again.
There were ups and downs and numerous trials;
The conflicts and tears outnumbered the smiles.
With my kids and his kids, then our two came along,
Although there was love, there was still something wrong.
Something was missing - we didn't know what,
So we kept moving and searching for that perfect spot
Where life would be wonderful and we would be
Able to live together as a happy family.
But in all that moving and searching for that spot
There was something very important that, again, I forgot.
I forgot to look up to the Heaven above
To find that place where peace and love
Could enter my heart and dwell inside;
And it would matter not where I did physically abide;
For the love of Jesus, my Saviour, my Lord
Would keep me from sin by my living His Word.
I have now looked up and called on my God
To raise up my spirits above this sod.
My searching is over; I have found that "special place;"
And have now "moved in" to God's redeeming grace.